"For a kiss to be really good, you want it to mean something. You want it to be with someone you can't get out of your head, so that when your lips finally touch you feel it everywhere. A kiss so hot and so deep you never want to come up for air. You can't cheat your first kiss. Trust me, you don't want to. Cause when you find that right person for a first kiss, it's everything."
-Dr. Alex Karev, Grey's Anatomy-

stress balls.
jiayan has been considerate to make us stress balls for frustration-venting. one interesting thing we found out about these stress balls is that they'll stick to the walls when thrown against them. so the primary school spirit within a few of us revived and they started to throw these stress balls against the walls in competition, seeing whose will stay the longest. xinying's won, hands down. hers stayed up there for about 23 hours. cool aye.

was on my way home when i almost got rammed over by a van. 'hey!' loud and directed, to the driver who wasn't looking at where he's driving. glares and stares.

Knock knock!
Who's there?
Jesse.
Jesse who?
Just see and you'll know.

i have my own knock knock joke yea. cool. courtesy of weizhu. (:

ever had a dream? i'm in one. i wonder if it's a nightmare, a fantasy, or a bubble. it's just a dream, it seems unreal.

the only thing that's real right now is prolly my exams in 30 hours time.

and the stars shine for you. stars. none today cuz sky too cloudy. indeed it's been raining these few days.

blogs with auto-play songs are pretty irritating. understatement. takes a long time to load. doesn't disrupt windows media player somehow and reader cum listener would find 2 songs blasting simultaneously. slows down my baby. please. if you simply adore a certain song or singer, blog it by writing the lyrics or title down. anyhow, weblog's an avenue for "press freedom", so i guess my comment has no weightage.

parliament's dissolved and polling date's been set -- 6th May. but me no vote and no cash to claim.

preoccupied, with thoughts introduced by some msges. my revivsion got disrupted and i found my mind drifting off in thoughts once in a while. may the Lord grant me with steady feet.

met elna on the bus home ytd. (: she hasn't changed much. talked about hall life and her core modules' exams that are all cramped together.

thoughts.
i lock the padlock.
i recall the times when i left the keys there and got scolded.
i'm surprised my brother is asleep. it's only 12am.
i wonder if i can switch on the tv.
i wash my feet.
i wonder if i should finish my laptop battery and leave it to charge.
i think it's troublesome to connect wires.
i wipe my face with wipes from thefaceshop to get rid of my make-up.
i realise most of the foundation is gone.
i throw the wipe away.
i decide to plug in my laptop and save my battery for tml.
i switch on dim orange lights, not wanting to wake my brother.
i find the laptop LCD too bright.
my mother asks me why don't i switch on the normal lights.
i remind her that brother is sleeping.
i wonder if the face wipe is enough to remove my make-up.
i turn down the brightness of my LCD screen.
i log on to msn.
i read everyone's nick.
i realised how nicks can reflect a person's thought and i thought i could know them more this way.
i realise i was wrong.
i turn down the brightness of my LCD screen even more.
i feel my head throbbing.
i lean back on the sofa.
it feels comfortable.

have you ever thought that you could understand someone but as you know that person more, you realise that you don't know him/her at all?

i wonder if i know her.

Today's saturday, the day between Good Friday and Easter Sunday. The day the believers woke up to, after having denied and left Jesus to die. The day the believers wondered if this 'Jesus' was really God. For us, it's easy to believe that Jesus is God, for it has been told to us that the grave had no hold on Jesus and He rose again on Sunday. If i had been there, on this saturday around 1970 years ago, would i have kept my faith? Or would i have, like the other believers, denied and betrayed Jesus?

the sky is bright, perhaps too bright. i cringe. veins dilate and adrenaline rushes to my brain. time to study. mugger me, perhaps. i'm enjoying what i study, or at least some of it. to explore each new day with my baby. back to the books.

"Pain, you just have to ride it out, hope it goes away on its own, hope the wound that caused it heals. There are no solutions, no easy answers, you just breath deep and wait for it to subside. Most of the time pain can be managed but sometimes the pain gets you where you least expect it. Hits way below the belt and doesn't let up. Pain, you just have to fight through, because the truth is you can't outrun it and life always makes more. "
-Meredith Grey, Grey's Anatomy-

yay. Congrats and welcome a new sista-in-christ yea. So happy that shyan came to know God. God really answered your prayer man. He works in His own ways and timing. :D

Choir debut. Had fun. And i guess that's sufficient. Not sure about the future plans for choir. Hmmm.

Caught up with those dudes. Haha. Someone (whom i shan't reveal the name) asked, "Have you ever taken out your school uniform and wear them once in a while to see how you look like in them?" Hmmm. But wish to have shared more. Nonetheless.

I got my baby today! My baby laptop. Woo... But the boxes and stuff that comes along with it is so heavy i had to lug it to qp's room and setle it there for the day. I'm pretty excited about tml and what's going to happen. Choir's having out debut, Easter service part 1, and going to chill out with some really dear friends of mine: eelee, debbie, wynnie and seng cheong. Yay.

Several things i wanna mention about today.
Inspired by a blogpost read. Not new revelations to me, just that i feel that this might serve good for others. About whether one can excel in both studies and ministry, and all other stuff we're interested in. Need to consider if the things we're interested in are in lined with God's plans for us, through prayer, consulting leaders, and sheer common sense. Areas in our lives like studies, family, and ministry, are the obvious areas in which God wants us to excel in, for He called us to be salt and light, and to be successful.

Once, during meeting of sort, we were asked to rank from the 1st priority to the last, God, studies, family, ministry, and social life. At the end of the exercise, we found out that these things cant be ranked as such. In fact, they are like spooks of a wheel, With God in the center of the wheel, and each area branching out from the center like spooks of a wheel.

God should be in the center of our lives, and every area i.e, studies, family, friends, ministry, are equally important and we should excel in every single area. No one of more importance then another. And in a case when one clashes with another, wisdom and, more often then not, time management is required.

I feel as though preparing for a sermon.

i have enough happy things to keep me smiling until tml morning. (:

strange. in cursive and on my cell's wallpaper. delayed blogging which does injustice to the events that happened to me a few days ago. for some reason i don't feel like doing proper sentences.

lit tutor.
tea buffet.
goodwood park hotel.
yumms.

debate soc.
gathering.
malaysian's place.
den liquidkitchen.
salty dog and sex on a beach.

the topic of discussion got around to morality, a tinge of religion and pre-marital sex. jacob:oh god, why can't we just talk trash? nonetheless topic continues. the whole discussion evolves around whether ppl should get involved in pre-marital sex. while the girls' point of view is that pre-marital sex affects marriage life and sex itself is more than a mere physical act (it is highly intimate and involves emotions), the guys, generally, think that it's ok, and they can accept girlfrens who has had past sexual experiences (what matters is the present).

prolly one key difference between guys and girls is that guys are capable of compartmentalisation. they seem to be able to have sex with someone they don't love. which is hard for me to relate to.

then the talk about morality. we agreed that whether pre-marital sex matters or not boils down to one's moral standards and values. jacob's point that one should not impose moral values upon another and that ppl who take a grey sort of worldview will prolly be able to socialise better.

but question is: what is the purpose of morality? to make one feel assured that his/her life is appropriate, that as long as you live by your own moral standards you can answer to yourself? in the grey world, is relative morality any form of morality at all? what is the point of morality if it can't be applied to not only us, but also as a general principle guiding social interaction?

my train of thoughts are hopping all over the place.

managed to rush my lit essay. but i doubt it a good one. probably just passable. lack of sleep's getting into me and i thank God so much that i managed a fruitful 2-hr nap this afternoon.

i guess you have exhausted your list of contacts that you resorted to msging me. i can't figure how i should put it across to you that frenship is more than this. but i guess it doesn't matter cuz you won't look for me anymore unless you need me. so fine by me.

the weird thing i experience everytime i start a habit of consistent reading is that i tend to form proper narrative sentences of what i see and hear and experience as i live life. if only i have a mental recorder to record my thoughts i wouldn't have to spend time blogging.